Discussion:
Jessica Alba's Arse
(too old to reply)
lab~rat >:-)
2007-08-30 18:12:55 UTC
Permalink
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...

(What ever happened to MoTaR?)

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
techdino
2007-09-14 17:13:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
D***@nomail.
2007-09-19 03:07:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
He should go to alt.free.newsservers. I use two free ones sometimes.
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-19 11:13:46 UTC
Permalink
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
He should go to alt.free.newsservers. I use two free ones sometimes.
He seemed savvy enough to know how to use the innernet.

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
techdino
2007-09-19 15:28:57 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
He should go to alt.free.newsservers. I use two free ones sometimes.
He seemed savvy enough to know how to use the innernet.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
True that but i am still stuck using google groups.. (shudders)

You never know when people might just suddenly pop up ...
Bill Reid
2007-09-20 01:03:03 UTC
Permalink
...nothing of any importance at all...

The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...

In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.

Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...

And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...

---
William Ernest Reid
D***@nomail.
2007-09-20 04:43:01 UTC
Permalink
Post by Bill Reid
...nothing of any importance at all...
The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
I thought she said she broke it doing a stunt where she was supposed to bang her
face on something.
Post by Bill Reid
In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.
Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...
That's sad if it's true. It sounds like something made up by a gossip rag.
Post by Bill Reid
And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...
---
William Ernest Reid
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-20 11:31:20 UTC
Permalink
On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:03:03 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
...nothing of any importance at all...
The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
For some reason, the idea of a toothless Jessica Alba turns me on...
Post by Bill Reid
In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a horeseface for the record...
Post by Bill Reid
Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...
And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...
---
William Ernest Reid
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
Bill Reid
2007-09-21 13:58:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:03:03 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
...nothing of any importance at all...
The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
For some reason, the idea of a toothless Jessica Alba turns me on...
How about the sight of her increasingly visible gristly segmented
trachea poking out between her neck tendons?
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a horeseface for the record...
And what's the first thing you do when you buy a horse?

CHECK THE TEETH!!!
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...
And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...
Perhaps I should add: ever notice Sheryl Crow's humongous
two front teeth that even Santa couldn't get down a chimney?
FAKE!!!...she knocked out the originals in a skateboarding accident...

---
William Ernest Reid
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-21 13:52:04 UTC
Permalink
On Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:58:08 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:03:03 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
...nothing of any importance at all...
The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
For some reason, the idea of a toothless Jessica Alba turns me on...
How about the sight of her increasingly visible gristly segmented
trachea poking out between her neck tendons?
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a horeseface for the record...
And what's the first thing you do when you buy a horse?
CHECK THE TEETH!!!
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...
And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...
Perhaps I should add: ever notice Sheryl Crow's humongous
two front teeth that even Santa couldn't get down a chimney?
FAKE!!!...she knocked out the originals in a skateboarding accident...
---
William Ernest Reid
At this time I am obligated to mention Beth Ostrosky.

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
Bill Reid
2007-09-22 00:57:04 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:58:08 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:03:03 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
...nothing of any importance at all...
The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
For some reason, the idea of a toothless Jessica Alba turns me on...
How about the sight of her increasingly visible gristly segmented
trachea poking out between her neck tendons?
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a horeseface for the record...
And what's the first thing you do when you buy a horse?
CHECK THE TEETH!!!
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...
And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...
Perhaps I should add: ever notice Sheryl Crow's humongous
two front teeth that even Santa couldn't get down a chimney?
FAKE!!!...she knocked out the originals in a skateboarding accident...
At this time I am obligated to mention Beth Ostrosky.
Why? Is she Jewish?

Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".

First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.

But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".

But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...

She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.

Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...

---
William Ernest Reid
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-24 11:52:46 UTC
Permalink
On Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:57:04 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:58:08 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:03:03 GMT, "Bill Reid"
(Manfred
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
...nothing of any importance at all...
The important thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
for three days by revealing that she broke off a large portion
of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
For some reason, the idea of a toothless Jessica Alba turns me on...
How about the sight of her increasingly visible gristly segmented
trachea poking out between her neck tendons?
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
root canals.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a horeseface for the record...
And what's the first thing you do when you buy a horse?
CHECK THE TEETH!!!
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
that were pure porcelain-white and about three times as
large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
Howard Stern these days...
And this concludes today's report on young female actresses
that George Washington would laugh at...
Perhaps I should add: ever notice Sheryl Crow's humongous
two front teeth that even Santa couldn't get down a chimney?
FAKE!!!...she knocked out the originals in a skateboarding accident...
At this time I am obligated to mention Beth Ostrosky.
Why? Is she Jewish?
Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".
First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.
But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".
But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...
Oh bullshit. If she can control them, it's one thing...
She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.
Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...
So tell me, how old do you think she is?

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
Bill Reid
2007-09-25 14:12:52 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:57:04 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".
First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.
But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".
But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...
Oh bullshit. If she can control them, it's one thing...
What if somebody slaps her on the back when she's
doing it? She'd spend the rest of her life looking like
friggin' Amanda Bynes...
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.
Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...
So tell me, how old do you think she is?
SHE thinks she looks twelve years old (that's what SHE
said)...and I suspect her fan base of middle-aged perverts
like to think the same thing...

And this stupid movie she's in got terrible reviews, all of
which mentioned that she can't act, and the movie did relatively
poorly at the box office...you can bet that ALL of it's distant
second-place finish to a film that was released last week
was due to the idiots who somehow think Dane Cook is
funny, and they ain't coming back next week, so stick a
fork in it and release it on DVD in a few weeks...

It's kind of like the "Fantastic Four" was her version of
"Scooby-Poop"...

---
William Ernest Reid
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-26 11:25:23 UTC
Permalink
On Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:12:52 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:57:04 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".
First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.
But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".
But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...
Oh bullshit. If she can control them, it's one thing...
What if somebody slaps her on the back when she's
doing it? She'd spend the rest of her life looking like
friggin' Amanda Bynes...
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.
Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...
So tell me, how old do you think she is?
SHE thinks she looks twelve years old (that's what SHE
said)...and I suspect her fan base of middle-aged perverts
like to think the same thing...
And this stupid movie she's in got terrible reviews, all of
which mentioned that she can't act, and the movie did relatively
poorly at the box office...you can bet that ALL of it's distant
second-place finish to a film that was released last week
was due to the idiots who somehow think Dane Cook is
funny, and they ain't coming back next week, so stick a
fork in it and release it on DVD in a few weeks...
14 million, btw.

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
Bill Reid
2007-09-27 01:56:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:12:52 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:57:04 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".
First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.
But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".
But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...
Oh bullshit. If she can control them, it's one thing...
What if somebody slaps her on the back when she's
doing it? She'd spend the rest of her life looking like
friggin' Amanda Bynes...
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.
Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...
So tell me, how old do you think she is?
SHE thinks she looks twelve years old (that's what SHE
said)...and I suspect her fan base of middle-aged perverts
like to think the same thing...
And this stupid movie she's in got terrible reviews, all of
which mentioned that she can't act, and the movie did relatively
poorly at the box office...you can bet that ALL of it's distant
second-place finish to a film that was released last week
was due to the idiots who somehow think Dane Cook is
funny, and they ain't coming back next week, so stick a
fork in it and release it on DVD in a few weeks...
14 million, btw.
Yup, a flop...

Look at it this way...I remember over a decade ago another
movie that made $14million, and was debatably in FIRST place
that weekend, though another movie made almost exactly the
same amount and there were accusations that the movie
studio had "plumped" the figures a little for the number one
movie to get the title.

The "first place" movie: Howard Stern's "Private Parts"

Remember, this was back when ticket prices were on
average a little more than HALF of what they are now.
And don't forget that $14million now is only good for
a POOR second place finish against a movie released
the previous week...in constant dollar terms, Alba's
(or more correctly, "Cook's") movie only made about
$8million compared to "Private Parts"...

Oh, and what was the other movie that made $14million
the same weekend as "Private Parts"? It was everybody's
favorite Tim Allen movie, friggin' "JUNGLE TO JUNGLE"!

I predict even less staying power in the minds of movie-goers
for COOK'S movie than for the completely forgotten "Jungle To
Jungle", because it did far less "real" business...in other words,
JESSICA ALBA IS A GIGANTIC FAILURE!!!

---
William Ernest Reid
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-27 11:02:37 UTC
Permalink
On Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:56:43 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:12:52 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Post by lab~rat >:-)
On Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:57:04 GMT, "Bill Reid"
Post by Bill Reid
Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".
First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.
But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".
But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...
Oh bullshit. If she can control them, it's one thing...
What if somebody slaps her on the back when she's
doing it? She'd spend the rest of her life looking like
friggin' Amanda Bynes...
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by Bill Reid
She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.
Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...
So tell me, how old do you think she is?
SHE thinks she looks twelve years old (that's what SHE
said)...and I suspect her fan base of middle-aged perverts
like to think the same thing...
And this stupid movie she's in got terrible reviews, all of
which mentioned that she can't act, and the movie did relatively
poorly at the box office...you can bet that ALL of it's distant
second-place finish to a film that was released last week
was due to the idiots who somehow think Dane Cook is
funny, and they ain't coming back next week, so stick a
fork in it and release it on DVD in a few weeks...
14 million, btw.
Yup, a flop...
Look at it this way...I remember over a decade ago another
movie that made $14million, and was debatably in FIRST place
that weekend, though another movie made almost exactly the
same amount and there were accusations that the movie
studio had "plumped" the figures a little for the number one
movie to get the title.
The "first place" movie: Howard Stern's "Private Parts"
Remember, this was back when ticket prices were on
average a little more than HALF of what they are now.
And don't forget that $14million now is only good for
a POOR second place finish against a movie released
the previous week...in constant dollar terms, Alba's
(or more correctly, "Cook's") movie only made about
$8million compared to "Private Parts"...
Oh, and what was the other movie that made $14million
the same weekend as "Private Parts"? It was everybody's
favorite Tim Allen movie, friggin' "JUNGLE TO JUNGLE"!
I predict even less staying power in the minds of movie-goers
for COOK'S movie than for the completely forgotten "Jungle To
Jungle", because it did far less "real" business...in other words,
JESSICA ALBA IS A GIGANTIC FAILURE!!!
I would imagine it's more Dane Cook's fault than Jessica's. I didn't
go see it, but I'll check it out when it comes around. Too bad it
didn't go direct to video, I'd see it sooner...

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...

D***@nomail.
2007-09-20 04:39:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
He should go to alt.free.newsservers. I use two free ones sometimes.
He seemed savvy enough to know how to use the innernet.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
True that but i am still stuck using google groups.. (shudders)
You never know when people might just suddenly pop up ...
<Plonk>
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-20 12:54:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
He should go to alt.free.newsservers. I use two free ones sometimes.
He seemed savvy enough to know how to use the innernet.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
True that but i am still stuck using google groups.. (shudders)
You never know when people might just suddenly pop up ...
<Plonk>
He's ok.

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
techdino
2007-09-20 14:41:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
Post by D***@nomail.
Post by techdino
Post by lab~rat >:-)
I rate her sweet arse as even better than J-Lo's ! Does any actress have
a sweeter arse ? I can't think of any in this day .
Oh boy, I bet her bum bum is tanned too, mmmmmm !
J-Lo's ass was the subject of contemplation years ago in the JA fan
group. We came to the conclusion that it was too big and probably
smelled bad...
There were reports that her ass smelled so bad it was a reason ben
left her and the block she lived on..
Post by lab~rat >:-)
(What ever happened to MoTaR?)
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
perhaps lab~rat MoTaR was stuck on an evil isp for a while like me
whose tech support had actually never heard of newsgroups..
He should go to alt.free.newsservers. I use two free ones sometimes.
He seemed savvy enough to know how to use the innernet.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
True that but i am still stuck using google groups.. (shudders)
You never know when people might just suddenly pop up ...
<Plonk>
He's ok.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
lol how you find out?
poldy
2007-09-24 01:59:54 UTC
Permalink
What ever came of those rumors that Alba got herpes from Derek Jeter?

Her assistants are hunting down herpes medication from pharmacies?
lab~rat >:-)
2007-09-24 11:52:47 UTC
Permalink
Post by poldy
What ever came of those rumors that Alba got herpes from Derek Jeter?
Her assistants are hunting down herpes medication from pharmacies?
It was a bullshit scheme cooked up by some of her competitors on the
teen music award. The rumors came and went with them, did you notice?

--
lab~rat >:-)
Stupid humans...
peachy ashie passion
2007-09-24 21:24:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by poldy
What ever came of those rumors that Alba got herpes from Derek Jeter?
Her assistants are hunting down herpes medication from pharmacies?
Hunting down? Like it's hard to find?
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